I Still Think You'll Know
by fluffycalzonafics
Summary: One-shot. It's been two months since the storm. Callie is tired of shutting Arizona out. And Arizona is desperate to be let back in. (It's happy, I promise)


**AN: I know, I know, I owe you guys Calzona, D.C. But I was inspired and just **_**had**_ **to write this (and I wrote it in like an hour or two, so it isn't really delaying CDC by that much). Anyways, this one-shot stems from a conversation currently happening on the Callie/Arizona LiveJournal Community. So I'll go ahead and say that these ideas are NOT mine. I'm believe it was jenrind's idea initially, but everyone on the comm seemed okay with me doing this one-shot. Sorry in advance if I'm stepping on anybody's toes! And for those of you who are like "Fluffy, what are you doing? Get out of canon and give us our AU"…I'll get right on it ;)**

**Spoiler Warning: This is based on a lot of spoilers/speculation about the 200th episode, so read at your own risk.**

**~x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x~**

Callie released a tired sigh into her surgical mask as the surgery started to wind down. She was completely exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

The past two months had been hell. Her wife—the woman that she loved desperately, the woman that she had supported the best she knew how—had cheated on her. And though it had been eight weeks, a relatively long period of time, she was still reeling, still utterly devastated. Arizona was her everything, her reason for being. And she had cheated.

Callie was so hurt, so enraged. Arizona did nothing but apologize, did nothing but throw herself at Callie's feet every day, begging for forgiveness, begging to be allowed to come home. But Callie just couldn't. It hurt too much to even look at Arizona—every time she did, all she could see was Arizona letting _that woman_ touch her. Every time she looked at Arizona, all she could feel was anguish.

And it was killing her. Callie _hated_ the fact that Arizona was living across the hall in Mark's apartment. She hated confusing Sofia and disrupting her life by shuffling her back and forth. But most of all, she hated being apart from her wife. Despite how awful everything was, Callie _loved_ Arizona. She _missed_ Arizona. She missed all the little things. A quick coffee break at work, a kiss on the cheek in the hallway, a comfy snuggling session on the couch as they watched TV. Making love to the soundtrack of Seattle rain. She wanted it back. She wanted her wife back. But she just didn't know _how_ to get it back. She didn't know how to get over the fact that Arizona had cheated. She didn't know how to get over the fact that Arizona was still so _angry_.

"Good work, Torres," Owen Hunt spoke up from across the operating table. "I wasn't sure we'd be able to save the leg, but you did it."

"Yeah," Callie muttered bitterly. "It's good. Now she won't...I don't know...blame her spouse for ruining her life and then randomly cheat just when things are starting to get better."

At Callie's comment, Owens blue eyes flashed up from the patient. "Torres…" he said cautiously.

"Sorry," Callie said, shaking her head and continuing with the procedure. 'It's just...it's a similar injury, and…"

Callie had been having an okay evening. She and the other board members of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital had decided to throw a fundraising gala downtown, and it had been exciting to get all dolled up. She'd worn a one-shouldered black dress that made her feel _incredibly_ sexy, and she'd spent the first hour or so schmoozing with rich people and trying to avoid Arizona's gaze.

_Good lord_, Arizona had looked amazing. Callie was certain that, apart from their wedding day, Arizona had never looked more beautiful. She'd been wearing a medium-blue ball gown that hugged her in all the right places. The dress and her expertly-applied makeup had set off those perfect blue eyes. And her gorgeous blonde hair had been swept up to show off her naked neck and shoulders. Callie's entire body had become aroused with just one glance.

And Callie was pretty sure that Arizona had been keenly aware of _exactly_ how good she looked, because she'd been fixing Callie with a smouldering, longing gaze all evening. Callie had to hand it to her wife—Arizona was nothing if not persistent. Her pursuit of Callie was absolutely relentless, and she showed no signs of giving up, no signs of slowing down.

Callie and Arizona had been having eye sex for about the tenth time that night when Callie had heard a loud crash, following by a blood-curdling cry of pain. Her doctor instincts had kicked in immediately, and she'd rushed over to where a crowd was instantly forming. For the gala, they had hired some Cirque du Soleil-style entertainers, and it had appeared as if one of the dancers had taken a nasty fall. Her left femur had been _clearly_ broken, so Callie, ever the Ortho Goddess, had taken control. She and Owen were just now finishing the surgery.

"She was trying really hard, you know," Owen said after a few minutes of silence.

"What?"

"Arizona. She was really trying to get better. She was hiding her phantom limb pain from you because she knew you needed her to be your wife again."

"Hunt…" Callie protested, not wanting to hear it. She endured endless apologies from Arizona every day. She didn't need Owen Hunt pleading her wife's case as well.

"She was," Owen insisted. "And the kind of trauma she went through? That can really mess a person up." Owen was silent for a moment before adding, "Trust me. I would know."

"She _cheated_ on me, Owen. She _slept with another person_. She—" Callie just shrugged in frustration, not knowing what else to say. She knew that Arizona had been through a lot, and she knew that her wife was likely suffering from PTSD. But that didn't excuse it. _Nothing_ excused such a horrible betrayal.

"I cheated on Cristina," Owen said.

"Yeah, and look how well that turned out for you guys," Callie snapped.

Owen raised his eyebrows, and Callie immediately regretted saying it.

"Owen, I'm sorry," Callie said quickly. "I, I didn't mean that—"

"No, it's okay," Owen responded. "That's fair. But Cristina and I...we're a very different couple from the two of you. And we aren't broken up because of the cheating."

"I know," Callie sighed, well aware of the situation between the trauma surgeon and her former roommate. They had broken up because Owen wanted kids and Cristina simply didn't. So Callie wasn't sure she and Arizona were _that_ different from Owen and Cristina. They had already been there, already done that.

The two surgeons worked silently for the next several minutes, only speaking when they needed different instruments from the scrub nurses or when they needed to communicate about the next step in the procedure. But a question was burning in Callie's mind, and after a few minutes, she simply couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Did you love Cristina? When...when you cheated on her?"

"Yes," Owen answered simply.

"Arizona says...she says that she still loves me. That...that it was just a horrible, stupid, heat-of-the-moment mistake. That it was just sex. That it didn't mean anything," Callie said. "Is that...is that _possible_?"

"That's how it was for me," Owen nodded.

"And she says...she says that she doesn't know _why_ she did it."

"She probably doesn't," Owen said honestly, looking up at Callie. "I didn't. Callie...your wife needs help. She needs counseling. She isn't...she isn't fully recovered."

"She wouldn't _let_ me help!" Callie exclaimed, feeling agitated again. She knew Arizona probably wouldn't appreciate her talking about this in front of all the nurses, but she didn't care at the moment. Arizona would have to deal with it. "I was there for her. I supported her. I did everything I could think of to help her get through it, and—"

"You're not the person she needs help from," Owen said.

"I'm her _wife_!" Callie said. "Who else does she need help from? Lauren Boswell?!"

Owen set his instruments down and looked at Callie pointedly. "She needs a trauma counselor. She needs _professional_ help. I didn't...I didn't start to get better until I started talking to someone."

"Owen," Callie scoffed. "You _know_ Arizona. She is _way_ too proud to—"

"I know. And you can't...you can't _force_ her. She has to _want_ to get better. But I think the hope of fixing things with you _might_ just be enough incentive for her to go. Cristina...Cristina gave me a _reason_ to get better. I would have never gone and gotten help if I didn't have a future with Cristina waiting for me on the other side."

Callie just huffed and started working again. She simply could _not_ picture Arizona "My Dad is a Colonel in the Marine Corps" Robbins going to see a psychologist.

"I'm not saying it'll be easy," Owen continued. "For you, or for her. But she's trying, Callie. She is _really_ trying. But your relationship isn't going to heal unless _both_ of you try. She's gonna need you to meet her halfway."

_She's gonna need you to meet her halfway_.

Those words rang in Callie's ears for the rest of the night, and haunted her as she finally settled into bed hours later. It didn't seem fair. Sure, Callie knew that she wasn't perfect. She was sure that she had made some mistakes in helping Arizona recover from the plane crash. But she didn't deserve this. This was _Arizona's_ fault. _Arizona_ was the one who had cheated, the one who had broken her marriage vows. Why should Callie do _anything_ to make things better? Wasn't it entirely Arizona's responsibility to fix things?

_She's gonna need you to meet her halfway_.

Could she do that? Could she swallow her pride, lay down her sense of fairness, and take Arizona back? She wanted to. Goodness, did she want to. She missed her wife _so_ much. Could she open a door? Could she trust Arizona again? Could she offer up her shattered heart, and trust Arizona to try and fix it, instead of grinding it into even smaller pieces?

_She's gonna need you to meet her halfway_.

Callie burrowed deeper into the covers, trying to feel comfortable. But she couldn't. It simply wasn't comfortable without Arizona snuggled closely against her, without Arizona's soft body keeping her warm.

Callie sighed. She was the one who had been wronged. But by holding Arizona at bay, she wasn't just punishing her wife. She was also punishing herself. And she didn't think she could take it anymore.

**~x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x~**

"Thanks, Joe," Arizona smiled sadly at the bartender as he slid her another drink. She had just gotten off of her shift, and she was sitting at the bar. Alone. It was a pretty common occurrence these days.

Callie hadn't exactly been quiet about Arizona's infidelity. The brunette had been so hurt, so blindsided by Arizona's adultery, that Arizona was certain every single hospital employee—and half of the patients—knew about her affair. And she really couldn't blame Callie. She knew that she was entirely in the wrong. Callie had every right to deal with her anguish in whatever way she saw fit. Even if it meant ranting about it to everyone in the hospital.

And of course, most of the surgeons felt as though they had to take a side. Which was why Arizona was drinking alone at Joe's. Owen Hunt was still friendly towards her. Bailey and Karev, too. But everyone else seemed justifiably on Callie's side. And a large group of her colleagues and former friends—including her wife—were currently at a table at the other end of the bar, laughing loudly and having a seemingly fantastic time. Arizona was seriously contemplating going over to the Shepherds' and prematurely ending Sofia's playdate. At least her daughter still seemed to like her. And least Sofia still seemed to enjoy hanging out with her.

Arizona glanced over at her wife for the thousandth time that night, silently willing Callie to make eye contact with her. Arizona wanted nothing more than to look into those gorgeous brown eyes, to somehow convey how deeply sorry she was. How impossibly miserable she was knowing what she had done. She _hated_ herself for what she had done. She hated herself for sleeping with Lauren, for betraying Callie, for hurting Callie. She was horrified by the kind of person she'd become. The kind of person who cheated on her wife. She had always been disgusted by cheaters. And now she _was_ a cheater. And she still didn't know why. She still had absolutely no idea why she had made such a horrible decision, why she had slept with a woman that she didn't even care about.

When it was clear that Callie wasn't going to look over at her anytime soon, Arizona turned back towards her drink, taking a long sip. This was her life now. Living in Mark's apartment, seeing Sofia half as often, being a social outcast in her own hospital, apologizing to Callie over and over and over again. Somehow, this had become her life. She hated it. She cried herself to sleep every night, just longing to feel Callie's strong arms around her, dying to hear Callie tell her she loved her, dying to hear Callie tell her she forgave her. But those things never actually happened. And Arizona was beginning to doubt that they ever would. It had been two months, and Callie had shown no signs of taking her back. Callie had given Arizona absolutely no indication that she was willing to let Arizona try to make things right.

Arizona looked back in Callie's direction, and felt her pulse start to race at what she saw. An attractive man, maybe thirty-five or forty, was leaning over Callie's chair, clearly hitting on her wife. And Callie looked pleased by the attention.

Everything in Arizona wanted to turn away. She didn't want to see that. She knew that if Callie didn't give her a chance to fix things, that her wife would eventually move on. Callie would find some new man or woman to love. Some new person who wouldn't cheat on her. Some new person who would treat her right. And Arizona just didn't want to see it. She couldn't bear the thought of Callie getting over her, forgetting all about her and moving on to someone new. Callie was _her_ wife. Callie was supposed to be flattered by _her _attention. Callie was…

Out of nowhere, as the man continued to flirt with Callie, the brunette's eyes flashed over towards Arizona. Arizona's entire body felt a jolt as their eyes connected, and she abruptly stood up and hurried into the bathroom. She couldn't take it. She just simply could _not_ take it. She had to get out of there.

After ensuring that she was alone in the ladies room, Arizona leaned back against the door, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself. She felt as though her heart was going to beat right out of her chest. Then she headed for the sink, leaning over it and splashing some cold water in her face.

_Get a grip, Robbins_, she silently coached herself. _You got yourself into this mess. You have no right to be upset. She has every right to flirt with someone else_.

But as Arizona tried her best to calm down, she couldn't stop tears from streaming down her cheeks. This just hurt too much. It was all too much. She had cheated on her wife for reasons that still eluded her. And now she was crying in a dirty bar bathroom while her hot, _hot_ wife got hit on by some random guy in the other room. It was too much.

Arizona looked down at the sink and tried furiously to dry her eyes when she heard the bathroom door open. _Perfect_. This was exactly what she needed. Someone to walk in and see how pathetic she was.

"Hey."

Arizona froze when she heard her favorite voice in the world. Callie...Callie had followed her into the bathroom. Callie had seen how horrified Arizona was at the sight of Callie being flirted with by somebody else, and she'd come after her.

"Um...hey," Arizona responded, wiping at her eyes one last time before turning around to face her wife. This was unusual. For the past two months, Callie had avoided her like the plague. This was the first time since the storm that Callie had approached her to talk about something other than work or arrangements for Sofia. Arizona tried not to get her hopes up but...but a small part of her was thrilled that Callie was initiating a conversation with her.

"You uh...you looked upset," Callie said, shifting awkwardly on her feet.

Arizona just blinked. She'd looked upset for two months. Callie had seen her crying for two months. "Upset" was her default appearance these days. "I um...I _am_ upset," Arizona said.

"I didn't...I didn't ask for that guy to hit on me or anything," Callie said, somewhat defensively.

"Okay," Arizona nodded softly, not knowing quite what to say.

"Not that it should matter," Callie added. "I mean...you did a lot more than flirt with someone else."

Arizona just swallowed. Had Callie simply come in here to pick a fight? "Callie…" Arizona sighed. "I...I don't know how else to tell you I'm sorry. I am _so, so, so _sorry. So _unbelievably_ sorry."

Callie nodded. "I know."

Arizona's eyebrows rose involuntarily. This was the first time Callie had said that. This was the first time Callie had acknowledged that Arizona was anything besides pure, unadulterated evil. "You...you do?" Arizona asked meekly.

Callie looked down and again nodded. "I do."

"Callie, I—"

"I talked to Owen Hunt yesterday," Callie interrupted.

"Um...okay?" Arizona said, confused.

"Well cuz, you know. He cheated on Cristina, and…"

"Yeah," Arizona said, still not knowing quite where this was headed. Owen and Cristina were getting a divorce. Arizona _prayed_ that that wasn't what Callie was in here to do—to ask her for a divorce.

"So um…" Callie said, still looking at the floor. "I was...I was thinking that...maybe," Callie took a deep breath and then paused. "I was thinking...that maybe...we could try again. Start over."

Arizona's eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat at Callie's statement. Was this what she had been praying for, begging for, dying for, day in and day out? Was Callie finally ready to try and forgive her? Was Callie finally willing to give her a shot? "Callie…" Arizona said cautiously, feeling an enormous amount of pressure to say just the right things, to not screw up this opportunity, "are you saying that…"

"But you are going to counselling," Callie blurted out, looking up from the floor, pointing an accusatory finger out, and fixing Arizona with a determined face. "You are getting a trauma counselor and you are dealing with your shit. Because so help me, Arizona, if you don't—"

"Okay," Arizona nodded eagerly, holding her hands up in surrender. The idea of counselling made her skin crawl, but she would do it if it meant getting Callie back. She would do _anything_ if it meant getting Callie back. "Okay, yes. Yes, I will go. I will get help, I promise."

"And once you're ready, we are going to therapy as a couple," Callie continued. "Because you shut me out, Arizona. We do _not_ communicate well. And Lord knows I need therapy, too, after what you and George put me through."

"Okay," Arizona nodded again, instantly agreeing with her wife. Callie could ask her to shave her head, quit her job, and become a garbageman in Paraguay, and she would still say yes. She would say yes and _mean_ it.

Callie paused, and the two women just stared in one another's eyes for a long moment. Arizona swallowed, praying that this was actually happening, that she wasn't dreaming, that this wasn't some cruel joke that the universe was playing on her.

Callie took a deep breath, and then slowly exhaled. "Okay?" she finally asked.

"Okay," Arizona confirmed. Holy crap. This was actually happening. Callie was actually letting her in.

"And this...this doesn't mean that...that you can move back in, or that everything's fine again."

"I know," Arizona nodded.

"We need...we need to start over. We need a healthier foundation this time."

"Okay."

"Okay so," Callie said thoughtfully. "I was the one who was crying." She stepped forward and grabbed Arizona's shoulders, softly repositioning them so that Callie was sitting on the edge of the sink, and Arizona was facing her.

"Wait, what?" Arizona scrunched up her face in confusion.

"So the evil ice queen has just left me in the gutter, and you come in to see if I'm okay."

Arizona's mouth fell open and her eyes widened in understanding. When Callie had said they needed to start over, she had meant _literally_.

"And um," Callie continued, gesturing for Arizona to join in. "You introduce yourself and tell me there's people lining up for me."

Arizona reached up to wipe a tear out of her eye as she felt her heart start to flutter. Callie was recreating their first meeting. This was Callie's way of saying that she was forgiven. Her slate had been wiped clean. She was being given a second chance. Goodness, she loved this woman.

"Callie," Arizona sighed, her voice full of emotion. Her heart was overflowing with gratefulness and love. She had been on the verge of giving up hope. And here Callie was, letting her back in.

"And I ask you for some names…" Callie said, still waving at Arizona to start participating. "Don't you remember?"

"Of course I remember, Calliope."

"So…?" Callie said, looking at her expectantly.

Arizona swallowed in hesitation. She had kissed Callie that night. Was...was Callie asking her to kiss her now? She hadn't tasted her wife's lips in two months. The last lips she'd tasted were...well...the last lips she'd tasted were Lauren's.

"Arizona?" Callie said, dipping her head slightly to regain eye contact.

Arizona looked in her wife's eyes, feeling incredibly timid, incredibly nervous. "Are you...Callie, are you...are you asking me to kiss you?"

Callie just smiled softly and took a step closer to Arizona so that their mouths were just a few inches apart. Arizona shuddered at the sensation. She hadn't been this close to Callie in two months. She hadn't been able to inhale Callie's wonderful scent in two months. And now Callie was standing incredibly close to her. She could feel Callie's breath on her face.

"Callie…" Arizona murmured quietly, closing her eyes in order to maintain her composure. "Please tell me you're asking me to kiss you. Are you asking me to kiss you?"

Callie responded by wrapping her arms tightly around Arizona and whispering seductively in her ear.

The words she spoke were like a soothing balm on Arizona's tortured heart.

"Sweetheart, I think you know."


End file.
